Morning sickness

The changing body

I've had a very easy pregnancy, physically-speaking, and I lay at least 50% of the credit at my wonderful chiropractor's feet. Your body is under a lot of stress from extra weight and changing center of gravity – get an adjustment to ease those pressures, and if you can find a licensed pregnancy masseur, get a massage! Relaxing for an hour makes all the difference in the world.

After all the years of trying to control the size and shape of our bodies, once you get pregnant you have to give up control and let the baby take over. Your body knows what to do. Do what feels right. When you're feeling like your body is totally out of your control, go for a light workout. It sounds crazy, but it takes much less effort to get that good high feeling you get from a good workout. You also get time to clear your head. Even my hormones seemed to get more in line. I was a jogger when I got pregnant, and my doctor said I should keep doing what I was as long as it didn't hurt. That quickly turned into brisk walks. Some doctors say not to get your heart rate too high. Check with your doctor to see what's okay for you.

Hormones, hormones, hormones

Why do they limit the term to post-partum "depression"? I never believed in hormone-induced changes in mental state until I experienced severe anxiety for a week-and-a-half after my first pregnancy. Even after my husband made a list of all the things that were making me anxious I realized I had a sinking feeling I just couldn't kick. I told the doctor at my one-week visit, and he said they have drugs that will make me feel better, and that I'd still be able to breast-feed the baby. I decided to wait and see if it went away.
I was lucky and it did. Many Moms aren't so lucky -- this is an issue to take seriously. Please advise your partner if you have any strange feelings, as you may need their support and their perspective. Some women hide their symptoms. Some men don't even believe their wives or partners. This is a very serious issue that can lead to catastrophic events. If you think you or someone you know may be experiencing post-partum please don't hesitate. Here is a story (warning: very sad) that illustrates the gravity of this issue. You can tell by the title of the link, it's not a happy story, but it's an excellent example of why this should be taken VERY seriously:

• Severe Depresion Leaves Them Without Wife or Mother

Pregnancy brain

I leave myself notes on the refrigerator. It's the only way I remember to do anything!
My friend came home from the store, having gone shopping for a humidifier. Her husband asked, "Where's the humidifier?" She looked confused and started looking in the car. He found it in the trunk with no bag and no receipt. "Sweetie? Did you buy this?" She couldn't remember paying for it. She inadvertently stole it! She was too embarrassed and afraid of being arrested to take it back.

Staying (reasonably) happily married

It may sound silly, but my husband and I get along best when we play video games together. It's so easy to both become overwhelmed with emotions and fight over silly things – but much less so when our Lego Jedi have to work together to defeat the Sith Lord.

Pregnancy is a very stressful time. Remember both of your lives are about to drastically change. Make time to sit down and talk. Husbands don't have to carry the baby every day for all those months, so tell them they can even the score with just 15 minutes of foot and back massage a day. A small burden in comparison to yours. This is a good time to talk about how maybe you don't appreciate having to be the deisgnated driver every time you go out, and how your nightlife will change once the baby's here.

Before the baby comes it's good to talk about responsibilities, like who will do what when the baby needs feeding or changing at 2AM.

Encourage your husband to take classes, read, and take part in this pregnancy. Choosing a male OB might help your husband feel a bit more in the loop. Encourage him to make lists of questions to ask during the doctor's visits. Remind him that neither of you have ever been a parent before. Just because you are carrying the child doesn't make you more qualified to be a parent. He should have just as much ownership of this pregnancy and child as you do. Starting now will help him to be an involved parent from day one.

After the baby comes, make SURE you get a babysitter and go out, just the two of you. I have three kids and I think having a babysitter once a week is the only reason my husband and I are still together. We have used the same babysitter for years. She loves the kids and they look forward to their nights with her.

Read books on childrearing together or to each other. Here are two authors I recommend highly -- two very different viewpoints that can help you form you own philosophy:
Barry Brazelton, Touchpoints
Penelope Leach, Your Baby and Child: From Birth to Age Five

Packing for the hospital

You don't need much! I only really needed clothing to wear home. You will not be able to fit into your pre-pregnancy clothing right away, so a smaller maternity shirt (one of the stretchy ones) and a pair of pants that fit you at nine months is your best bet. Don't worry - your pelvis will be back down to size soon.

• Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy
  
• My Pregnancy Stories
  
• Pregnancy Diet and Exercise
• Weight Gain