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Discussion: Please, please help me
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SerenityFox |
Please, please help me
May 23 2007, 8:38 PM EDT
Hey there all, I'm a 19 year old female, and yesterday I found out I was pregnant... However I have a huge dilemna on my hands.
I'm in a loving long term relationship, but it's only been a day since we found out and already it's falling to pieces. My partner is ademant about terminating the pregnancy, whereas I'm 100% certain that I want to keep it. This is causing a huge strain and I need help. I'm trying so hard to work out what I should do... Do I continue with the pregnancy and risk losing the love of my life as well as bringing a child into the world who's father doesn't want it. Or do I give up and give in and give my partner what he wants by terminating the pregnancy. No matter what I do, I'm going to end up hating myself for it. He does have valid reasons as to why he doesn't want it, but I can't seem to come to terms with the thought of terminating something I want so badly. Anyone else who has had to make this kind of decision, please reply... It's be much appreciated as I need someone neutral to the situation to help guide me through this. Many thanks, Serenity 2 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you?
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momtobe2007 |
1. RE: Please, please help me
May 24 2007, 10:43 AM EDT
I am not sure what you have decided to do yet. I want you to know though, I have had an abortion before...it was NOT worth it. Every woman is different, but it didn't sit well with me afterward. I had a lot of psychological problems and guilt afterward due to the fact that as i got older i would start thinking "well my baby would be this old now" or "i wonder what it would've been, or what it looked like." It is something that I have lived to regret..the only thing in my life that I regretted. It's all up to you though. You are carrying this child, so don't let anyone talk you into aborting it. Your relationship with your significant other will never be the same either way because if you abort the baby a piece of you will forever hold him responsible for it. Follow your heart, not someone elses like i did. Hope I helped a bit.
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SerenityFox |
2. RE: Please, please help me
May 24 2007, 4:05 PM EDT
Thank you so much, I think I can relate. Especially granted the thought of termination alone breaks me into a thousand pieces and I just fall to bits, I can't help it. I'm at such a loss. Your thoughts are much appreciated, and i think my partner, having seen me break down at thought of termination last night, may be coming to terms with exactly what it is he's wanting to put me through. Last night he actually said to me that he wouldn't let me go through with it if it upsets me this much. But, God, I just wish that he was saying it because he wanted it tohave this baby too. It makes it harder too when he's talking about all the "maybe's" and all that kinda stuff, rubbing my tummy and all that stuff, it surely doesn't make matters easier.
But you're right... I have to do this for me, and I think I'm going to keep it. I'm risking everything, but look what I get out of it in the end?! :-) Something that I created, something that I brought into this world, something that will love me unconditionally until the very end. Of course it's not going to be easy, but, one step at a time... And the sooner people come to terms with the fact that I'm going to be a mum, the better. I'm going to need all the support I can get. Once again, thanks so much for you input, it's only made me all the more certain about what I wanna do. So Thank you, thank you, thank you... I'lll be sure to keep you posted as to what's going on. Serenity 2 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
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momtobe2007 |
3. RE: Please, please help me
May 26 2007, 11:16 AM EDT
I'm glad that I could be of some help. It is completely normal for a man to get nervous when he finds out that he is going to be a father. I'm sure that as you go through your pregnancy he will start to feel better about it. If not, then he may not feel the same way towards you as you do him. But, keep me posted! I'm so excited for you and your little new comer. :)
Take care! Marie 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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pinkhearts |
4. RE: Please, please help me
May 31 2007, 8:15 PM EDT
im going throught the same thing, well kind of, i just found out i am pregnant, after the guy breaks up with me. He does not want to be there for me, but this is not about me, i say you should keep the baby, and hopefully he will change his mind later on in the pregnancy. I would not abort the baby since you wil regret that later in your life. I really hope you make the right decision
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babyplusmommy |
5. RE: Please, please help me
Jun 18 2007, 12:26 PM EDT
I read the posts before me and I wanted to tell you I was happy you've decided to keep your baby. I don't see abortion as an option because of what they do to babies and how the women feel after they've had an abortion. You do need to do this for yourself, and your baby should be the new love of your life. Make sure to keep us updated!
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SerenityFox |
6. RE: Please, please help me
Jun 19 2007, 9:43 PM EDT
Well - Everything's going really really well! My partner and I are looking into every single avenue possible to see what kind of help is available out there - I was surprised - There's much more help out there than I though! You just have to commit yourself and look for it.
We went for our first UltraSound Scan today - It was so awesome! We could see it's little heartbeat flickering, still a bit early on to distinguish one bady part from the next, but we established that I'm a bit further on than initially thought (we thought it was only 6 weeks, turns out I'm 8!) and my estimated due date is January 29 :-D I'm really happy - That means I might have a birthday baby (I'm the 5th of Feb) if not, it'll be close enough to be the best birthday present ever! I'm really glad that my partner is now as happy and excited as I am - I just need my mum to now get used to the idea....It's an uphill battle - Believe me! 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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momtobe2007 |
7. RE: Please, please help me
Jun 26 2007, 8:14 PM EDT
Glad to hear that things are going so well with you. I find out sometime this week what the gender is of my baby. I will be 22 weeks tomorrow! :) Due on October 31st. It would be cool if the baby was born on it's due date cause then I would have a Halloween baby! All in all, I'm happy for you!! Take care!!
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SerenityFox |
8. RE: Please, please help me
Jun 27 2007, 3:25 AM EDT
Oh how cool! that's awesome! I wanna know what I'm having lol, I'm anxious now that I've sen what cute little clothes there are out there - I was a bit naughty today and brought a rew unisex bits and pieces - I couldn't help myself! Hahaha
My mum had a halloween baby last year - Named her Zsa Zsa (we all have pretty odd names) so yeah, haha - Trick or treat? Mum got the treat :-) Morning sickness is slowly but surely fading - Still yet to have a day where I don't drive the porcelain bus at least once, but oh well... It'll all be worth it in the end. I can't wait to start looking pregnant either, haha - I'm sick of this stupid bloated belly - I just look fat. But I'm not! I'm preggo!! Hehehe - I need a badge that states that for me "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant". 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
alliebaby1060518 |
9. RE: Please, please help me
Aug 17 2007, 4:35 AM EDT
I think you should keep the baby, he shouldnt have had sex with you if he wanted to be sure not to have a baby. Its both of yalls fault
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